Woman Rejects Invite to Dinner—Not Ready For Friend'...

By Darlin Tillery

Life & Trends Reporter

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A woman who works in a city office says she was left feeling pressured after declining a dinner invitation that would have required her to wait around for hours after work.

Reddit user LoftyDreams7473 describes a Friday evening invitation from friends who work outside the city and suggested meeting for dinner at 7:30 p.m.

The woman explained that her office closes at 4 p.m. on Fridays and all employees must leave at that time. Staying inside the building was not an option because the last person out sets the alarm.

Options Dismissed

According to the original poster (OP), one friend, referred to as Jane, suggested several alternatives after being told the timing would not suit. These included staying at work for an extra three and a-half hours, leaving and then returning to the city later, or having the OP's husband drive in and meet them.

Each option was dismissed as impractical or exhausting.

The OP relayed to fellow Redditors: “She said, ‘I dunno, shop? Go to a few galleries? Do something touristy that you never do because you’re from there? I don’t want to do any of that because I’m tired.”

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The post prompted more than 300 responses from other Reddit contributors who weighed in on whether the woman was being unreasonable.

"All of your responses for not going are perfectly valid reasons to not attend and it’s perfectly fine for them to be your answer," a supporter declared.

"She’s being pushy, I get wanting to see friends but it’s selfish to ask someone who has been working all day to stay around for not just an hour longer, but MORE than 3.5 hours after their work day.”

The supporter suggested: “‘No, thanks for the invite. Maybe next time.’ And done.”

The OP replied in agreement, saying, “That’s what I was thinking. Waiting around 3.5 hours is a big ask. And yes. I’m gone for 12 hours on a good day.”

However, not all responses framed the friend’s behavior as unreasonable. A commentator took a softer view, writing, “She’s not entitled, she’s love to see you and is trying to give suggestions how it might work. You don’t want to. That’s fine.”

'Wriggle room'

Guidance from relationship and social advice writers suggests that discomfort around declining invitations is common.

“There are many reasons you might not want to hang out with people,” Natalie Watkins wrote in an article for SocialSelf.

“No matter what the reason, it’s easy to feel uncomfortable declining an invitation.”

Watkins also stressed the value of being direct, writing, “Don’t give a soft no, such as, ‘I don’t think I can,’ or ‘I’m not sure that works for me.’ These answers leave wriggle room for others to ask again.”

A similar point appears in a WikiHow guide on declining plans tactfully.

“Be honest and let them know that you’re just not feeling it and it has nothing to do with them,” the article states.

The guide adds that a simple rain check can signal interest without committing to an inconvenient plan.

For the OP, the issue was less about the dinner itself and more about being asked to spend hours filling time after a full workday. As reactions to the post show, opinions vary on where enthusiasm ends and pressure begins.

Newsweek has reached out to LoftyDreams7473 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

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