By Darlin TilleryShareNewsweek is a Trust Project memberA young woman has turned to Reddit for advice after realizing that food, a deeply personal part of her life, had become a source of tension in her new relationship.
The 20-year-old original poster (OP), user Ready_Spot8351, shared her dilemma on Reddit, explaining that her 23-year-old girlfriend refuses to eat garlic, onions or anything spicy, saying she cannot tolerate even mild seasoning.
But as the OP comes from an Afro-Latina and East Asian background and views cooking as "like a love language," this is proving to be a sticking point.
...“I love to cook, and the idea of having to dumb down the recipes I love to share with others is honestly not something I’m willing to do,” she wrote, "and it makes me super sad that this isn't an aspect of our relationship we can share.
"Not to mention, the concept of going on a date out in public with someone who will only order burgers, chicken tenders, and mac n cheese when we go out sounds extremely embarrassing to me."
The relationship, she said, was otherwise loving and supportive, which left her questioning whether her feelings were shallow.
Reddit users quickly rallied around the OP, with many offering support and advice.
One wrote, “The epiphany you were having is the realization that you both are not compatible. This is exactly what dating is for. It’s OK, you do not have to stay. And it’s not shallow.”
As the discussion continued, the OP noted that her girlfriend has been questioned throughout her life about whether she might be autistic.
If that were the case, food limitations could be connected to sensory needs or avoidant restrictive food intake disorder.
"If it is a sensory thing, treat it like any other incompatibility," one contributor advised. "You either accept that food just will not be a shared love language in this relationship, or you admit that’s too big for you and bail before feelings get deeper."
Food and Romance
Outside Reddit, food and lifestyle writers have addressed how eating habits affect romantic relationships.
In an August 2024 article for Delish, food editor Brooke Caison discussed why food preferences can become dealbreakers.
“You spend so many hours of your life eating with a significant other,” Caison explained. “Gotta have an open mind at the very least.”
Similarly, Shea Bradford wrote in a Thrillist article about dating picky eaters, “It might seem frivolous, but food matters. It's the cornerstone of life."
In a final update, the OP revealed that she had spoken directly with her girlfriend, who said she wanted to become more adventurous with food because it mattered to her.
She ended on a hopeful note, saying the issue no longer felt like the end of the relationship but something they could work through together.
Newsweek has reached out to Ready_Spot8351 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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